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I’m currently having my school exams for the past 2 weeks now and starting from tomorrow, i will have full swing of it. I really, really want to do well for this term to not only prove to my parents and teachers, but also to myself because well, i need to prove to myself that i’m not dumb. I know I can do so much better last year, but i didn’t because i was fooling around so much and plus, there were things that brought me down. So, I thought i would start afresh this year. I want to prove it to my teachers that I’m not that wild/out of place girl in school that they think I am. True, I do rebel and I did get caught cheating in a test before, and well, many other rumors and whatnots they’ve heard, but I want to prove them wrong. In short, I want to prove to them that I’m different. Someone they could trust again. I want to change. I really do. So, I thought I’ll do it by succeeding this term. But the thing is, my piano diploma exam is coming up in exactly 2 days! And, I’m really scared and nervous about this whole thing. :/ I honestly honestly just want to get it over with, but I really hope that I wouldn’t fail too. I want to make my mum proud and my teacher proud. I just don’t want to fail this exam which costs my mum a lot. And I didn’t all my mum’s investment in my music lessons to be a total waste. I could’ve done my diploma last year, but i didn’t because i didn’t want to and i wasn’t serious in it. I wasted all my time last year. So, exactly a month and a half ago, I still hadn’t finished my pieces yet and I was told I was having my exams in April. My mum forbid me to skip my exam and wanted me to just get over my exam and pass it this April, so I have been going for piano lessons EVERYDAY since a month and a half. My teacher honestly had no hope or whatsoever that I could actually make it in time for my exam because my playing was horrible. It hurts seeing that I’m going to disappoint my mum so I practised in the wee hours of the night everyday. Thankfully, my teacher passed me in my trial and now I am so scared on what’s going to happen in 2 days. I’ve finished my pieces, but honestly, I don’t think I’m good enough for it yet. 

I just hope and pray and wish that i can succeed in both my exams and my dip. I pray and wish and hope that God will be with me all the time and I know He will because he cares for me. I pray that all my hard work will be acknowledge and that I will pass. I really, really want to just pass my exams so I won’t disappoint my mum. I really cannot forgive myself and I would blame myself if I fail. So dear God, please help me out a little here and be with me because I need Your guidance and Your faith in me. 

*fingers crossed*

Amen.

NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY